Boundaries are a great thing. I put up a post the other day that said that if you google search me you'll get a dentist's office online newsletter.
So someone bothered to leave a comment on my website asking if I thought I was a dentist. I chose to ignore the comment. Why? Because I've learned that whenever people reach out to make contact with me, it's because they want something. If people know how to ask in such a way that respects my boundaries, they might get an answer. If they leave a comment like this one, that indicates they seem to think we've been best friends for at least 5 years now, that no introduction is necessary between us, and that they don't seem to have a clue that I might need to know something about them before I reply to them, I won't answer them. One thing about social interaction: people want to feel comfortable talking to others. When you take strides to help them feel more comfortable with talking to you, then they might well speak to you. When you come across like a loose cannon, they're less inclined to deal with you. Technique is everything and I find people who don't have any boundaries lack technique that makes others feel comfortable with them. There's a process in talking to others: it's called disclosure. You all know a lot about me because I make that knowledge public. One thing you need to know about me is that I don't go for people who conceal their motivations. If you're looking to get an answer for me and don't ask straight up, you won't get one. If your message indicates you're not inclined to engage in the process of disclosure for the sake of the person you're speaking to, don't expect them to respond. This is one set of rules I like to play by. And yes, the galactics do it, Ivo introduced himself to me the first day we spoke. Leaving a comment that says, "I'm a smart ass," will get you ignored. I'm not inclined to want to deal with people who have poor boundaries. Poor boundaries can indicate a lot of things, and it's usually an indicator of more dysfunctionality. I believe that social media has done a lot to disrupt boundaries between people and to create more dysfunction. That's why I stick to my boundaries. This person will not get a response, either from my website or on here.
0 Comments
|
Details
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |