I was having trouble with my wifi provider from my old address. I tried to cancel out my subscription and instead of this I was confronted with call center staff who refused to let me leave, and tried to hard sell me on another subscription when in fact I had already signed up with another service provider. I had the modem and wanted to return it to them (although the technology is probably outdated) but anyway.... I didn't get around to discussing that because these sales sharks were trying to browbeat and manipulate me into staying with their company.
So I hung up on them. I stopped using my service the last day of last month but they kept billing me. I know how that goes. They're billing for something they're not delivering and for what I didn't even ask for and tried to quit, and I know these unpaid accounts will be turned over to debt collector agencies at some point in the future. I typed up a letter to this provider and cc'd the CRTC (Canadian Radio and Television Commission) on it. I even said I would be willing to take legal action if necessary to clear my account. I got two emailed replies, one from the Office of the President of this provider and one from the CRTC. The woman then emailed me and asked for my phone number, which I refused to give her. I said this transaction will be completed via email or it won't be completed at all. She gave me her number and asked me to call her and of course she has call display but told me that since I called, my number won't be put on my record (so the sales hawks won't start calling me with deals). She said she would email me information on how to return the modem and cleared my account balance to zero. She said if I ever wanted to deal with their company again, please feel free. I got the treatment I wanted, not having to deal with pesky sales hawks who read the next thing to do from computer screens. The manipulation and hard selling of these telemarketers really annoys me. I got some good old fashioned first class service - because I insisted upon it!! That's how to stop being a victim! Don't settle for less.
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Boundaries are indicative of who we are. They are very personal.
The problem with the victim’s boundaries is they are set where SOMEONE else wants them to be, not where YOU want them to be. Consequently, you suffer from a poor sense of self and spend your time seeking the validation of others because others were the ones who defined you in the first place. As a child, your first experience of life was your parents and as an adult your experience of life is still your parents but everyone else as well. So as an adult, you have more people showing you where you need to set boundaries and when your boundaries are weak, there are many volunteers to help in this process, I’ve found. If you’ve had abusive parents, like I did, you have boundaries and a sense of self that is defined by other people and works for other people like your abusers – not for you. Redefining your boundaries is about understanding who you are, what you like and what you don’t like. This may sound like a daunting process, but think of it as one that is cut up into 24 hour periods called days. Each day you get to work on your boundaries. Whatever comes in front of you from day to day is your opportunity to redefine your boundaries and to understand who you really are. Of course, that’s another process. There is defining who you are in relation to society and others, and then there is going deeper and understanding who you are in relation to only yourself. That’s the process I’m on now. Not everyone will choose to do that in a lifetime. I have. Other people will try to change your boundaries. Those abusive others who enjoyed being able to take advantage of you will fight and argue with you to “prove” to you that your boundaries are better off where they were, not where you want them to be. They are interfering in your process of self-determination and ultimate happiness. I haven’t had too many who have taught me to have better boundaries who are still in my life now. The people in my life now reflect my better, more loving boundaries. They don’t argue and fight with me when I set a limit. I have enough friends with good boundaries that I don’t need to tolerate anything less, and I don’t. |
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AuthorAuthor Sharon Stewart, former Victim, author of "Stop Being a Victim!" Find your inner happiness now! ArchivesCategories
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